Urinal Cake Records

Felt Slipmat

The utmost in turntable luxury - Urinal Cake Slipmats are made from the pressed wool of beautiful nordic sheep, freerange farmed and cruelty-free so you don't have to stay up all night worrying if you hurt some sheep's feelings just to baby your precious records. Just kidding, we don't know where the fuck the fabric came from, probably some robotic spider's ass. These are full color and look sick as hell though. Class up your turntable for only 10 bucks shipped.

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Feelings

"Ends Meat" LP

Haterade

Stream the whole album HERE

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Growwing Pains

"17 Songs About The Same Girl" LP

All The Time

"This album's title is not a joke: Hamtramck, Michigan's Growwing Pains have written a debut album's worth of songs all about one special lady. (Though according to Urinal Cake head Eric Love, they initially wrote 22 songs about her.) Whoever she is, she's quite the muse—this album is completely great. Growwing Pains' sunny melodies, use of keys, and powerful delivery recalls the manic joy of the Barbaras. There's something frantic and desperate about the tone of songs like "Tonight". Then, after a full album high energy rock songs, things comes to a comparatively gentle finish with the jangling hum of "Ellen's False Teeth". Since there's a firm concept in place, the song titles offer a glimpse into the stories within: "Toothpaste", "Call Me Up", "Turn Off the Lights", "Misogynist", "Break Up". All 17 songs offer catchy, diverse melodies." - Evan Minsker, Pitchfork Stream the whole album HERE

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Smelly Tongues

"Slack Heep" LP

Secretly Strange

"Smelly Tongues are Los Angeles' latest form of audio pestilence, a jagged, foaming/forming multi-faceted organism, evolving within each new song churned forth, and poised to drive their venom into this weary world, whether it's ready or not. Scratched together from long-revered outside noise underdogs such as the Piranhas, Red Aunts, Screaming Yellow Zonkers, and The Baptist Church, this new concoction thrusts forth with such a promising post-punk stab in the chest, it's gonna take at least one outfit change and several hospital visits to get yourself straight. It's chock full of those sticky push and pull downer dilemmas that will make you miss work and daydream yourself into a nervous breakdown, sweating and waiting for something that used to scare you as a child, and eagerly staring down the ominous, hideous hooks. 'I can't help it, I'm obsessed, you're the best' has never sounded so perfectly uneffected and deranged, and it's with these razored chops that Smelly Tongues chop rigorously through the lush vegetation of modern primitivism and burst onto the unsuspecting faces of America's broken avant garde with the confidence and swagger of a jackal on a weekend death trip." -Todd Killings, HoZac Records/Victim of Time

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F'ke Blood

"The Band That Bled Real Blood" LP

Teenage Conversation

“cutting edge dancefloor post-punk --- bouncy/minimal --- easy groove --- gang of four style --- too many lyrics --- heh” - Terminal Boredom

"In journalism school I was always taught if it bleeds, it leads. If I know one thing, it's that F'ke Blood sells!" - Ben Blackwell (Third Man Records/Cass Records/The Dirtbombs)

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Moonhairy

"The Kingdom of Eternal Poverty" Gatefold LP

Laughing Gravy

"The kingdom of eternal poverty, we love being poor, we love having nothing, the kingdom of eternal poverty, we love being poor, we love having nothing…..And so it is in the kingdom, with our beloved band of misfits and minstrels calling to life a place both haunting and familiar. Once again, our leader is the fearless jester Jimbo, who may have created this place somewhere deep inside his peanut. He cuts through the dark forest of his mind with sword and torch and pops up beside you suddenly, to remind that this bad dream may still be happening. Where does it begin? Where does it end? Its all quite uncertain. But once outside the thicket in the daylight you realize something has been revealed. They say living the dream, but perhaps they mean the nightmare. Moonhairy knows all about nightmares…." -Glen Morren, Cygnus/The Intended

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Ritual Howls

Self Titled LP

Cemetery Guards

Managing to straddle the jagged line where Bauhaus and other deathrock acts collide into The Gun Club, RITUAL HOWLS deliver their first LP offering. Stark, atmospheric and introspective songwriting and instrumentation get punctuated with industrial-strength drums to culminate in an aurally diverse record that runs the gamut from giallo-style ballads to noise-rock death dirges. Available on vinyl and for digital-download on iTunes

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Feelings

Fun With Mantras 7"

Fun With Mantras

The Brothers Mueller team up with David Dunbar Buick (The Go, Italy Records) to bring you a three song blast of angst amplified scuzz that harkens back to both the 90s Northwest scene and offerings from New Zealand's Flying Nun Records. The A-side, "Fun With Mantras" is a gritty, jangly ode to rejection with a cover of The Clean's "Thumbs Off" on the flip (speaking of New Zealand). Produced by Derek Stanton. Limited copies on white, the rest on black.

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Gardens

"Days To Name" b/w "The Onion Peels Of Honest John" 7"

Days to Name

Detroit’s GARDENS return from their debut LP on Alive! with a new 7" on Urinal Cake! Recorded on Halloween 2011 with GREG ASHLEY (who is also featured on both tracks) in Oakland, CA. Limited copies pressed on glow-in-the dark vinyl.

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Protomartyr

"No Passion All Technique" LP

Too Many Jewels

"Protomartyr, on the other hand, were a complete and welcome surprise. Buzz from a few friends got me to make the trip to check them out when they played in Brooklyn. As they took the stage, my first impression was “Tom Lennon started a band with his kids” (that’s not an insult). And then they blew me away, mining the same hills as many UK punk/post-punkers (Fall, Joy Division, Swell Maps, et al) but played by baseball loving Midwesterners. They’ve released a handful of singles and tapes in addition to the LP, all with great lyrics (a rarity) and artwork (just as uncommon)." - Dave Hyde, Terminal Boredom

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K9 Sniffies

"Rawsonville" 7"

Rawsonville

"Wow, grab your mask. The danglers next door have done it again with more of their signature negi riffs lifted from the slough of unnameable harshness. Joe sings loosely of love and loss-age. Hints of bliss. Next stop Edge City!" - Kyle Kaos

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Bad Indians

"Sun People" EP

The Other Side

"Hot new EP from Ann Arbor's resident psychedelic dudes BAD INDIANS. 4 tracks on this slab—each one sung by a different member of the band! Ian crooning one, Autumn swooning, Morgan burping, and Jules belting. Sick licks and tasty riffs, put this record on and make out with your favorite person or twist a Marley, mon and DIG THE VIBES. 100 of these suckers are on clear blue vinyl for you BAD BOYS out there. Throw out all those Indie Rock records you bought on the word of "Pitchfork Media" or whatever crappy blog you kids love nowadays—GET IN THE ZONE, TRY BEER, PURCHASE THIS RECORD, PLEASE AND THANK YOU" - Joe- K9 Sniffies/ Telephone Callers

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Terrible Twos

"Horror Vacui" LP

A Word & A World

It's been 5 years since Detroit's Terrible Twos let loose their first album of unhinged, synth-fucked punk furiosity, in the time between then and now they saw the release of a handful of singles, the untimely demise of several vans, a personnel change, and a sharpened delivery of their brand of ape-shit destructo-rock. Along with being a genre of outsider-art, "Horror Vacui" is defined as "a fear of the empty" - it makes sense that this would be relatable for Terrible Twos as they rarely allow you a moment of silence to collect your thoughts before scattering them back across your dome during the course of these 13 songs. First 50 copies are on splattery puke colored vinyl. Stream the whole album HERE

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Druid Perfume

Druid Perfume LP

Balloon Artist

"Loud jangular, Ho-Bo Punk! Druid Perfume sips the sweat of wild men's bellys and drinks beer from dirty shoes and uses it to fuel their sasquatch tunes! Rare sound, elusive rock! The kings of the misunderstood! Keep your daughters away! This record is volcanic and victorious." - Timmy Vulgar (Human Eye/Timmy's Organism/Clone Defects)

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Protomartyr

"Dreads 85 84" 7"

Bubba Helms

"Protomartyr on vinyl. Don your Cartier shades and make a toast to the memory of King Boots—or Bubba Helms! Real high-energy melodic bashing from a true lower-case punk rock band. Lyrics and cover art are an extension of Joe Casey's bleak but essentially comic view of life. I play one of the guitars on this crazy piece of plastic. Put it on your turntable and sounds will come through your speakers! Your ears will send a message to your brain and after that, who knows? An instant party! A novelty record? Maybe—but only in the best way!" — Kevin Boyer (Tyvek)

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SROS Lords

"Evil Spawn" 7"

Evil Spawn

Detroit four-piece SROS LORDS drop their debut 7″ on the pleasantly titled Urinal Cake Records, offering up a mutated blend of doom-punk that will leave you feeling quite filthy.

"Sros Lords is Detroit's best band," - Craig Brown (Terrible Twos / The Mahonies / Liquor Store / every other killer band) ...but what does he know.

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Johnny Ill Band

"Ask All The Doctors" LP

Where Do You Live

After 3 killer singles here it is, the Johnny Ill Band LP! We couldn't have asked for more for our first release. Featuring members of the Terrible Twos, Fontana and a dude thats been to college. Produced by Derek Stanton. 150 gram vinyl, download card, full color sleeve.

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Urinal Cake Records

T-Shirt

Our very own logo designed by none other than Ben Lyon! Finally on a t-shirt! It's a shirt. You wear it to hide your shameful pepperoni nipples.

Printed on quality 100% Cotton Gildan SoftStyle by ESP in Detroit. Available in Black or White, please specify your size and color.

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